Napoleon Dynamite Mixup?

I think there may have been some sort of mixup in the Napoleon Dynamite script. This seems to match up even better than the song that was really played in Napoleon Dynamite. Anyway, thank's to FlashPlayer.com for airing this flash file.
Click on the link below to find it.

McDonalds, an Oppressed People

Recently, I've been getting a lot of lip from some of the people here in Germany. Seems they saw that "Super Size Me" movie, and have come to the following conclusions:
1. McDonalds has made the world fat.
2. America consists entirely of McDonalds resteraunts.
3. The world's obesity is somehow my fault.
First off, let me clear up that McDonalds food is awful (especially here in Germany). The "Chicken McNuggets" don't contain any actual chicken, the buns are all stale, the Happy Meal prizes are cheap toy imitations (but kids still make tons of noise with them), the cups tend to fall apart... the list goes on.
McDonalds' low quality aside, saying that they're making the world fat by increasing the size of food is ridiculous; McDonalds is not the only people who are increasing portion size. Take the European product Nutella (an inexpensively made chocolate spread), for example:

The Nutella on the left is last year's size, and the one on the right is this year's. The one on the right contains at least twice as least twice as large. Personally, I think upping the amount of chocolate one eats on things would tend to increase their weight by much more than a sandwich and some deep fried potatoes.
Now, some of you may be thinking, "But wait a minute; that's at home, so nobody's forcing you to eat it all," but nobody's forcing you to eat everything you order at McDonalds either. You can take it to go, eat as much as you want, and then take home what you don't want to eat right away in a convenient little bag they provide if you order "to go."
My point is that McDonalds isn't alone in their decision to make their menus bigger, and nobody's forcing anybody to overeat. Thing is, people wanted bigger meals, and lots of food companies responded. So why should McDonalds and America be picked on? They're not any different from anybody else.
At least I'll be away from most of the whining in 66 days.

Temporary Distraction

And now, I bring you back to the dark ages of Europe, when they had dancing bears.
(This picture is best viewed in Firefox.)

[image removed to lessen its bandwidth, and make it acutally available]

A friend of mine sent this to me. I have no idea where it's from, but I deemed it blog-worthy.

The 10 Commandments of Blogging

Anyone who has been around the blogosphere knows by now that a ton of the stuff out there is total garbage. It's hardly surprising, with all the rotten blogs in the blogosphere, that my blog's claimed all of the fifteen spots when Googling "#1 Blog in the World." (Note: Forum searches have been excluded. Forums are just a bunch of pimply faced highschoolers who wouldn't know a good blog if it came up and bit them.)
So, what's the key to my success? Well, they're what I like to call the 10 commandments of blogging. Follow them, and your blog will also reach the top.

Commandments:

1. Thou shalt not "lol." "LOL" gains my nomination for the most annoying Internet acronym ever. People generally use it to mean, "I am funny," but they rarely are before using it. In fact, don't use any Internet acronyms, period. They make you look like an idiot, and drive people away. If you have to express a laugh or emotion, do it like this: *laughs*.
2. Thou shalt capitalize, stupid! Never, ever leave the letter "I" in the lowercase if left on its own, and never leave the beginning of a sentence in the lower case. It gives people the impression you don't spend enough time on them to give them a good blog (and if you aren't capitalizing, chances are they are right).
3. Thou art always right! The instant you back down from anything, you lose credibility. Never retract statements, even if you are wrong (try not to be wrong). If you can't think of a way to discredit your critics, just ignore them until they go away.
   (Please note: I am not encouraging libel. I'm just saying that blogs are more interesting if people defend their opinions rather than blowing with the wind like a leaf. Leaves suck at blogging.)
4. Thou shalt make everything matter which proceedeth from thy keyboard. People read blogs in the hopes of finding out something. Never talk about everyday occurrences unless there is something unusual about them (otherwise, the fact that you did them will be pointless). For instance, the sentence, "I slept," does not belong on a blog unless immediately followed by something to the effect of, "and while sleeping, I was burned for witchcraft." Also, make sure your sentences contain some form of information on them. For example, the sentence "The weekend was ok," is a huge mistake. If you are writing about your weekend, we should be able to tell from the rest of the writing.
5. Thou shalt not swear. This one's more of a courtesy thing than a solid rule; there are some blogs out there which are really awesome, but still manage to drive religious and other moral-minded people away because they swear. You'll have a bigger audience if you keep your mouth clean.
6. Thou shalt not give too much information. Blogs are an informal form of literature. If people wanted to read huge amounts of text, they'd buy a book. For a blog, you want to get to the point as fast as possible, and then stop once you're there.
7. Thou still shalt not "lol!" I cannot stress enough how annoying Internet acronyms are! They're so annoying; I decided to devote two whole commandments to them! If you ignore every other rule, at least obey this one.
8. Thou shalt update! Blogs that are updated often get regular visits from people. You don't have to update as often as me (I update every day), but set yourself a schedule that you can give to your readers. Try your best to stick to said schedule, but don't stress if you aren't 100% faithful. People tend to understand circumstances.
9. Thou shalt be different! If your blog is just like everybody else's blog, there will be no reason to visit your blog over someone else's with the same opinions/experiences. Be careful to be sincere, though, because if you don't sound like you believe yourself you tend to come off as pathetic (in other words, don't lie).
10. Thou shalt punctuate! It's hard to read sentences that have no form of separation. Use some form of punctuation to end every sentence, so that reading your blog isn't a chore. I suggest learning as much punctuation as possible; things such as colons, semi-colons, commas, and parentheses also help to organize your writing and keep it from being a chore (nobody likes chores). But make sure to use them correctly, otherwise you make things harder on your readers who have to clean up your mess.

And, one more time, I'd like to stress the importance of never, ever using Internet acronyms, especially "lol." They're fine for instant messaging, where you have to type quickly, but blogs are a completely different story!

Update 8-7-2005: Because I was awsome enough to make this in about three minutes, you can now post the following on your blog if it is compliant with these commandments.

If you feel your blog is 10 commandments compliant, post the following code into your sidebar to gain this button (do not alter it; it's littered with my copyrights).

<a href = "http://cfrahm.blogspot.com/2005/04/10-commandments-of-blogging.html"><img src="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/leo_damascus/10_command2.gif" alt="My blog complies with the 10 commandments of blogging as certified by http://cfrahm.blogspot.com/!"></a>

Roman's Pissed

IT is one of the most interesting classes I have ever taken. Today, for example, we were continuing working on a slideshow presentation of baby photos that the school's showing at graduation. More specifically, we were trying to fix a photo that I *ahem* ran over with a rolling chair.
It was Roman's photo, and he just happened to walk in on my IT class while we were doing this. For a while he didn't even recognize his photo, but my teacher (Mr. Fox) had to refer to the photo by student name. So, let's just say the story leaked to Roman.
Roman was surprisingly calm about the whole thing. I mean, he didn't even resort to any sort of violence; he just offered to fix the photo himself, and to bring a cleaner copy if needed. Personally, I think he realizes that he can hold this as a reason I owe him.
*groan* I hate owing people!

Shark!

You remember those wierd kids who want to be something wierd like, say, a shark when they grow up? Check this guy out (by clicking the link below).

The EU is Evil

Since the European Union (EU) has formed, they've done nothing but cause major headaches for everyone. I mean it; they introduce "the Euro," and all of a sudden inflation doubles here in Germany, for example. But nobody can bring them down, because they're all mad with power, as can be seen in this babyish action they are attempting: The EU is putting "sanctions" on US items. For the particularly slow, that means that they're going to stop buying from the United States in punishment for Washington not repealing an antidumping law.
What?
Who gave the European Union the power to do this? I know I didn't vote on it, and I don't remember any sort of election in the United States over what laws the European Union could impose on the United States. As far as I could tell, they weren't our bosses.
But it seems the EU thinks they have the power and right to boss the US around, just because the law came from the World Trade Organization. Washington is doing their best to come up to par with the WTO laws, but as Richard Mills says in this quote from Sun-Sentil.com,

"The United States is working to comply with the WTO decision regarding the Byrd Amendment," Mills said. "It's important to remember that the WTO decision in the dispute does not affect our underlying trade laws. The United States will continue to vigorously implement our trade laws to make sure Americans are treated fairly."

That's not going to stop the EU, though. They think they can just use the World Trade Organization to enforce laws on the US that will screw Americans over if its passed right away, and if it's not passed, their going to screw us anyway.
You know, the last time I can think of that this happened England was forcing a tea tax on America, that ultimatly led to the American Revolution. This is unfair treatment, and a violation of Americans' rights as people on earth! Down with the EU, stinkin' tyrants!

Thank goodness there are only 70 days left until I leave Europe!

April Fools!

So nobody gets worried, I changed my blog temporarily for April Fool's day. April Fools, everyone!
I'll change it back tommorow.