Have you ever noticed how often idiots use the word "probably?" It's only one thing in the whole profile of things that make idiots, but today it just hit me.
I don't mean using "probably" such as in: I should probably do this, but I'd rather not. I mean the use of probably where people take hypothetical situations as evidence. For example, there's this gem from my own hate mail:
she was probably looking at a picture of brigham young BEHIND your ugly @#% and comparing you two.
You see, he's making the assumption that
a. There was a picture of Brigham Young in the room.
b. That it happened to be in my eyes.
And as soon as he finds out that none of the above is true, his comment is thrown completely out the window. And that always happens when you pretend something that probably happened/will happen is ample evidence.
So that you know I am not being entirely presumptuous, I also present the following not related to this blog.
classic rock music is what started the music that you probably listen to today.
Am I the only one noticing a grammatical pattern here? It seems like use of the word "probably" has a direct correlation with not capitalizing the first letter in a sentence. Now, I'm not saying all people who don't capitalize use probably as evidence; I'm just saying they're morons.
Like in the previous example, this person is also making assumptions.
a. This guy listens to music inspired by classic rock (even though he said he respected classical music).
b. His comment means jack.
I mean, seriously, who cares what inspired what?
Let me clarify quickly, because I like some classic rock (Doobie Brothers, Queen, some Beach Boys, and others). The classic rock referred to in this comment is the bubblegum of the old days, such as the Beetles or the Monkees. A prime example of what I'm talking about includes the Monkees, actually.
Smashmouth "I'm a Believer" vs. Monkees "I'm a Believer."
It's the same song, except Smashmouth's came a whole lot later. But the Monkees had an awful part where they tried to pass of "De Doom De Doom De" as a legitimate instrumental. Smashmouth realized that that was killing the whole song, and replaced it instead with a guitar solo, which instantly made the song less awful and more awesome.
I'll keep you posted on that list. But now I'm tired, and I want some sleep. So in closing, I am your master.
