Things About Germany

I've hit the 10 day mark until I move out of here. I've got 3 days until my entire house is packed out and turns into another one of those empty apartments. All of this together means I might not be able to post again until I'm back in Utah. So I'll say Tchüs to Germany, and hello America!
I can't wait until those 10 days have passed for the mostly following reasons:

I miss air conditioning. They don't have air conditioning over here in Germany, even though they have more than their share of heat in the summer.

I like the wide roads in America. All roads here in Germany feel like walking a tightrope (and parking spaces are even worse)! I hear it's worse elsewhere in Europe, but that doesn't make the roads and parking here any wider.

Customer service exists in America. Germans, you go ahead and get offended, but I noticed a café that had closed for lunch, so I'm not lying.

And on that note, goodbye!

The Missionaries

Yesterday, I got a phone call I definitely wasn't expecting:

Me: Hello?

Caller: Hi, this is Elder Hatch. I was wondering if you and Tony wanted to help us teach tomorrow?

Me: Well, Tony's not here, but I'd be happy to.

Elder Hatch: Great! Meet us at the church at 1:00!

(conversation not verbatim)

To be honest, I didn't really want to eat into my Saturday via missionary stuff, but since I said I would, I did the missionary stuff.
The bad news: today was hot! 90ºF in fact (a very rare amount of heat in Germany)! And the church we were doing missionary work in had no air-conditioning (Germans think air conditioning is ungesund, meaning cold air blowing against you is the cause of all illness).
The good news: I enjoyed it. I had fun teaching the investigator whatever I had to offer. I enjoyed feeling the divine presense in the room.
That's right... divine presence!
Some of you out there aren't used to all the Mormony stuff that I sometimes include in this blog, but here's the biggest reason I believe in God: I've felt the presense of his Holy Spirit. Most people describe it like a fire within your chest (ironic that I'd like that at 90ºF). I find it's more like a swelling of joy. Have you ever had a hug? Next time you do, pay attention to the feeling in your chest area on the inside. That's a weaker version of what it feels like.
Now I can't wait until I become a missionary. I want to share this with everybody.

(Update: The word "divine" has been altered on this post.)

I Hate Neopets

Tonight's blog post almost didn't happen... because my sister was playing "Neopets."
My sister's been playing it the whole friggin' day!
Neopets is an online Pokémon ripoff. Basically, you go online, and then try to earn enough money to feed whatever pansy creature you pick. Supposedly there is a battle game, but battle seems very softened when this is your "warrior":

It's a big waste of time! I'm going to see if I can ban it from my computer.
Later.

The Metric System

When I lived in Europe, I got a lot of guff about the Imperial system, usually in the following form:

Some European: Why don't you Americans use the metric system?

Me: Because we don't want to.

Some European: But the metric system's better than the Imperial!

Me: I'd much rather use something that I can understand than something I can't.

Some European: But the rest of the world uses metric!

Me: That doesn't make me understand it better.

Some European: uncivilized pig!

I didn't care before I came to Europe, but I've been involved in that conversation more times than I can count! It annoys the crap out of me that people will defend the metric system like it's some sort of god!
I got news for you metric worshipers about the metric system:
It's flawed!
The whole idea behind the metric system is that you work in groups of ten. That's easier because we use a decimal counting system, but easier isn't always better.
Apparently nobody noticed, but there is a machine invented in 1946 called the computer that everybody uses. It can only work in binary (ones and zeros, a base-2 counting system). Ten in binary is 1010 (one in the eights column, and one in the twos column), but the problem is when you divide by this number. Computers divide by multiplying with the number's reciprocal. In other words, to divide by 10 they multiply by 1/10.
See if you can figure out 1/10 in binary. Give up? You can't; it's continual, just like pi.
Now, I know that Imperial isn't too much more easily translated into binary... so I present case 2: Use of decimals.
The Imperial system is designed so that you have to use fraction: 1/12 feet to an inch, 1/3 yards to a foot, etc. The metric system is designed to be used with decimals: 0.1 centimeters to the millimeter, 0.01 meters to the centimeter, etc. Even though decimals are convenient, they too are flawed.
Take the theoretical value for 1/3, 0.333333333... you get the idea. I'll call it .33 for now. 3 * 1/3 = 1, right? What's 0.33 * 3? 0.99. You're a bit off from 1.
Removing fractions gives you a false sense of security, and then you biff up and send a million dollar Mars rover too strong into Mars' orbit and it goes hurtling off into space, wasting all our money.
Now, before I get a bunch of e-mails saying, well, the Imperial system isn't perfect either, I didn't say Imperial's perfect. I said the metric system is flawed. I've gone and proved that point, which has brought us to the conclusion that the two systems are even in usefulness. So now for case 3: Imperial was here first.
I've grown up learning Imperial measurements all my life. You tell me someone is doing 45 mph in a school zone, I know he should slow down. However, you tell me someone's doing 45 kph in a school zone, I get a blank look on my face while I try to figure out if that's fast or not. I realize that other people have grown up with it the other way, and that's cool for them. But I don't want to spend forever trying to learn another measurement system when the one I got is just fine for me.
Having another measuring system even exist has caused problems. For example, there was a NASA Mars exploration project where the calculations were done in metric. Then the programmers programmed the launching stuff using the same numbers assuming (naturally, since this is America) that they were imperial. Needless to say, NASA lost that project pretty fast! If nobody had created the metric system, the programmers couldn't have even made that mistake.
So do me a favor, Europe: keep your metric system for yourself. I don't want it in my home country! Imperial works just fine for me!

Writer's Block

You writers out there, don't you hate writers block?
I know I do. For instance, today I've finished my last day of highschool, and because my brain's giving out, I can't really write about it in an intereting way.
So instead I've decided to write about pandas... pandas with machine guns.
I'd love to make a movie about that, but I doubt the government would sit quietly if they learned I was training pandas in the art of warfare. So here's the plan: I train the Panda's, and then use them to take over.
I'll fool the democrats into thinking that I'm on their side, so they'll nominate me for president in 2036. I'll win that one easily because my opponent will be Sam Casey.
Anyway, how I get to be president is of mild importance. If all else fails, my pandas will take the whitehouse by force. The important thing is what I do with them.
For my first act as president, I'll pass a law that says all people have to be happy. Then everybody will be so happy, I'll get elected a second term. Then I'll impeach myself, because I'll realize that the pandas were communist all along. Then, I'll go use my commie pandas to take over Missouri. That's all I really wanted anyway.
And if any of my plan goes wrong, I'll take Southpark's advice and blame Canada. Then I'll cancel that show because I don't watch it. In fact, everything I don't watch will be canceled, and TV will be good for a change.
But then people are going to call me a bad leader, because a lot of them watch that stupid Sponge Bob Square Pants. I'll allow them to protest in a nuclear test site.
And I'll do more as I think of it. Then everyone will be happy, especially me.

Great Post Lost

I had a great post today, where I solved world hunger, but Blogger lost it and I'm too lazy to retype it.
To further put things in perspective, I have nothing else to do today.
Anyway, that's it for me today.

Movie Review: Mulan II

10 year old girls have no taste in movies.
My little sister said that she'd seen "Mulan II" and that it was good, so when it came up on the Disney Channel, I figured I should give it a shot.
BIG MISTAKE!
I've never seen a more predictable movie. I mean, you could tell that Ling, Yao, and Chien-Po would get together with the princesses almost from the moment you could see that there were three princesses. I'll admit, the scene were Shang fell off the bridge had potential to redeem the movie, but only if the guy stayed dead! Instead, his horse goes sniffing around and finds Shang in a watering hole, suddenly emmerging from the water and gasping for air. Like that's never been done in a movie before!
Now this isn't why I hated the movie so bad; every cheesy Disney sequal has been exactly the same. What made this one bad was the theme, which Mulan says in this line:

I know our duty is to the mission, but I have another duty... to my heart.

Let's say that again, except this time without Disney's crap in it:

I know I have a responsibility, but what I want is more important.

Mulan was willing to start a war because she thought what she wanted was more important. Great thing to teach the kids, morons! That's just what we need: more self-absorbed and disobedient children.
What are the Disney people thinking?

The Brownies

The end of spring means barbecues. And for some reason, Alex Julian's mother thinks that means brownies. I rolled my eyes when I saw she was bringing brownies to our youth group's barbecue, but then she said:
"The diamond in my wedding ring is missing. I think I may have dropped it in the brownies."
Sounded like she was trying to pull one over on me. This sounds like the kind of thing that happens on sitcoms, not real life. But she showed me her wedding ring with the missing diamond.
"I'll give ten bucks to whoever finds it."
Then she just walked off. So I told everyone what Alex's mom said, and they sifted through the brownies.
We heard an occasional, "I found something hard," but it always turned out to be a crusty part of the brownie.
The funny thing was, we got to the point where there was only one left, and nobody wanted to eat it. It's like they were afraid of the diamond or something.
Well, we didn't find it in the end. Though it seemed like my brother was swallowing big bites. I wonder...

Star Wars: Episode III Review

It started after a very filling dinner of Chinese food, and after the nerd induced spasm caused by people dressed as a Storm Trooper, Boba Fett, Darth Vader, and about 20 Obi-Wan Kenobis and 30 Luke Skywalkers. The crowd of men living in their parents' basement cheered as the word "Star Wars" appeared on the screen. After that, there was 2 1/2 hours of people being sliced like a stick of butter.
But enough about what I did; let's get to the movie.
The movie was pretty good, but the only "jokes" were all pathetic. I think one of them was how over-hyped General Grievous was. Through the whole movie, the guy sounded like he needed an inhaler. His first line consisted of him coughing. Not talking, coughing. There was only one good "joke" in the whole movie, which was really just R2D2 lighting other robots on fire. I don't think other people found it quite as funny as I did.
It's fine, though; the movie wasn't made to be funny. It was made to be a tragedy, and fulfils that through their total destruction. Anikan burns alive, about 20 people are decapitated (many of them Jedis), General Grievous' heart is blasted into oblivion, and little children being sliced, diced, and otherwise obliterated on screen. This is not a movie for the weak, but they should get over it and see the movie anyway.
So, I guess I suggest it. Just be ready first.

(Disclaimer: That first comment was a joke; I sliced nobody. Those half corpses were already dead when I got there. *shifts eyes*)

Nintendo Revolutions

Chris Rigby (aka Nintendo and Star Wars freak) showed me that IGN released pictures of the Nintendo Revolutions system recently:



Yep, Nintedo's outdone themselves again. The new Nintendo Revolutions has the ability to make CDs float in the air. I wonder if it plays games, too?

Deaf!

Today was normal, except I woke up deaf.
Okay, so it was only in my right ear. My ear ruptured or something and filled my ear with earwax and junk. Anyway, it wasn't better today, so I had to go in and get it fixed. The problem was that the doctor's appointment wasn't unil 2:30 pm, and I had nothing really to do until time to visit the doctor's office. So, I decided to check my e-mail.
Turns out I ticked off "chillig_alla" when I blocked him from e-mailing me. He signed me up for multiple immoral and embarassing spam subscriptions. Thank goodness I have Gmail, or this could have been a serious problem. With Gmail I can automatically filter these out... and return them to "chillig_alla." *evil laugh*
Okay, so I'm not being that mean yet. I figured I ought to issue one more warning first. But if it's not cancelled by tommorow, I'm setting up that filter (consider this your official warning, "chillig_alla").
Anyway, back to my ear. I'll spare you the details because I doubt anyone cares, but they tried to fix it and failed. So now I'm jugging down Cipro until I get better. As long as I don't wake up deaf anymore, though, I don't care.

Takin' A Break

Anyone planning to read my blog today or tommorow? Yeah, not gonna happen. Now that I'm down to 24 days left until I leave the country, I gotta really get packing. So my blog's going to suffer a little over the week. I should have another post on tuesday, but I'm not making any promises.
So, until my next post, Tchüs! Bis spater!*

*translation: Bye! See ya later!

Track and Field

Never, ever, ever attend a DoDS (Department of Defence School) track and field event. DoDS have no organization skills whatsoever.
My parents asked me to support my brothers today in their track meet to see if they could qualify for the DoDS European championship. I figure, why not? Sports are interesting, right? Well, let's take the last event as an example (the times are accurate; I checked my watch):

4:00 pm - The final call for the mens 4x4 relay is made.
5:30 pm - The 4x4 relay begins.
5:35 pm - The 4x4 relay ends.

That's right; I had to wait one and a half hours doing absolutely nothing but sitting in the rain just to watch a five minute race. By the way, if anyone from Yahoo Weather is reading this, light rain my butt! It was a friggin' downpour in Kaiserslautern!
But on the optimistic side, the race was very good. It almost made up for the long wait.

First Q&A

Note: the following letter has been censored.

hey chris,

so i guess u kno all the answers to everything. ok lets see. who was nicolo machiaveli, what was the title of his most famous piece of literary work, what was its intended use, who did he write it for, and what was his most well-known piece of advice, derived from this literary work?

if u could clear these things up for me, without looking them up in some book, website, or any other source other than your huge [profanity] brain, then that would be just great.

however, if u wish to respond with sum overly-patriotic [profanity], like: "[vulgarity towards Europeans]" or "GOD BLESS AMERICA!!! [vulgarity concerning republicans]!!!" then that will just prove how extremely ignorant u relly are.

but hey, didnt mean 2 sound 2 harsh there. [vulgarity] ... jus read up a lil before u say dumb [profanity], huh

I should have been more clear when I issued that challenge. It wasn't an invitation to trivia, and from now on I'm not accepting any trivia. Trivia's boring.
I'll provide an answer for this one, though. Nicolo Machiavalli (in the letter is was spelled it with one too few l's) was a character in a novel called, "Like I Give a Crap." In this novel, he was a writer who wrote the unbelievable success, "Capatalize Or You Look Like A Moron." It was intended for the people in the city called "Why The Crap Do You Even Care?" to locals, but "It Doesn't Matter" officially. His most well known piece of advice is, "Don't make me angry."
Here's my source, just in case I'm being to subtle.

Now It's Getting Rediculous

I need to stop surfing StarWars.com. It's... wierd.

The Link Owns You

Answer Man

I think I can answer any question. Try me. Send your questions to leo.damascus@gmail.com, and I'll answer them on my blog.

The Chicken

I know I've posted too many links lately and not enough real life stuff, but my life has been boring lately. I've just been waiting for exams to finish so I could get to college in one piece. Anyway, I got another link until I have something to report.
Just one quick question: why did the chicken cross the road?

The Link Owns You

Star Wars Release

I was surfing the Star Wars web site, and discovered something nice. Apparently, Star Wars is releasing a day earlier over here in Deutschland, and figure in for the time zone, I don't think there's a single Star Wars geek I won't have ruined the movie for before its release.
Take that, losers!

The Link Owns You

Star Wars Trailer

The latest in Star Wars Trailers is available here. I know it might not look official, but don't be fooled. I mean, look at this still from it:



That's too fake to be fake, don't you think?

For those interested in seeing it right away, I'm streaming it below. It's set not to run until you click play. By the way, I'm not responsible for any offensive language/material you find in it, because I didn't make this.



(Update: Don't read this update if you know little about computers. I had to increase the size of the movie for two reasons. First, because I was using a file type only supported by Windows, and had to switch to one that multiple platforms could handle. Second, windows media player is screwed up and won't let me turn off autoplay in Firefox, so I had to switch to Quicktime to allow it. Dumb Microsoft.)

Solar Death Ray

Finally, they're doing something useful with solar power. Follow the link below to learn more. If you can find anything cooler than this, please let me know.

The Link Owns You

Tired

I'm so tired after exams. I just... want... to... *snores*

Exam Proctors: The Stupidest form of Life

I'm taking my IB exams again today, but since I'm American they don't affect my grades/college/anything. So, I decided to have a little fun, and see how well the proctors can catch cheaters.
My day started by reading the "Pocket Dictionary to Signing," and memorizing the manual alphabet, all while waiting to be let into the exam. The teachers came, so when I saw they were looking, I hurriedly put it away to arise suspicion. Once taking the exam, I started manual signing words behind me, picked up my test and flashed it in morse code... crap, pretty much the only thing I hadn't done was scream out the answers.
No teacher even considered that I might be cheating. Interesting, no?

Oh Crap, No!

So I get home from exams, and I figure I ought to check my e-mail and web site subscriptions. Then I found out from Wired News that the United States will soon have Smart Cars.
Smart cars, for those of you still safe at home in the US of A, are bred in Europe, hillariously ugly cars that look like they've been chopped in half.

I can see how they'd be popular in Europe; they have the unique ability to perpendicular park in a paralell park zone. But man oh man is that thing ugly! I hope it never, ever catches on in America.
And the weird part: I think my Dad gave the guy who's doing this his Visa.

The Link Owns You

I'm the Blog of the Day

Check it out! I knew Google and I weren't the only people who recogized my talent. I feel so empowered.
I especialy love my fake conversation included in the review:

"Hey, what have you been doing lately?"
"Oh, check out my blog, it's all on there."
"OK, I will! What's it called?"
"Just Read It."
"Well, I will do if you tell me the name of it."
"Just Read It!"
"OK, OK! I will read it, but what's it called???"
"Just Read It!"
"Sheesh, I'm not psychic you know. I mean, forget it. I'll read someone else's blog instead."

No you won't, loser!
Anyway, I'm glad my new blog title is living up to the old one (#1 Blog in the World). By the way, this blog that linked to me lives up to each of the 10 Commandments of Blogging. You might want to give them a read.

The Link Owns You

Star Wars: Episode III | A Hero Falls Music Video

I'm sick today, so I'll just leave you in the good hands of the people at Lucasfilm Ltd.
This music video is probably just like seeing the movie.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith Music Video